Things To Do In An Elevator

By: Various People
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  1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
  2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
  3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you! Just SHUT UP!!"
  4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a small world" incessantly.
  5. Sell Girl Scout cookies
  6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator
  7. Shave.
  8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
  9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
  10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrased when they open by themselves.
  12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Noogie Patrol coming!"
  13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
  14. One word: Flatulence!
  15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
  16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
  17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
  18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
  19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
  20. Meow occasionally.
  21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
  22. Frown and mutter, "gotta go, gotta go" for a few seconds, then sigh and say, "oops"
  23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
  24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
  25. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
  26. Walk on with a cooler that says, "Human Head" on the side.
  27. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then shout, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
  28. Burp, and then say, "mmmm...Tasty!"
  29. Leave a box between the doors.
  30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them, but push the wrong ones.
  31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
  32. Start a sing-along.
  33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
  34. Play the harmonica.
  35. Shadow Box.
  36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
  37. Lean against the button panel
  38. Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push all of the red buttons.
  39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethescope.
  40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that it's your "personal space".
  41. Bring a chair along.
  42. Take a bite out of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
  43. Blow spit bubbles.
  44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
  45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body".
  46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
  47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
  49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger!"
  50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad Touch!"
  51. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
  52. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, then go back for more.
  53. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
  54. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
  55. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "THAT'S MINE!!!"
  56. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
  57. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
  58. Lay down the Twister mat and ask if anyone would like to play.
  59. Leave a box in the corner, then when someone gets on, ask if they can hear ticking.
  60. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
  61. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
  62. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
  63. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic! They open again!"
  64. Swat at flies that don't exist.
  65. Tell people that you can see their aura.
  66. Call out, "Group Hug!" Then enforce it.
  67. Sit in a corner in a fetal position, rocking back and forth, muttering, "They're coming, they're coming..."

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