9. Car horn that plays theme from "The Rockford Files."

8. Warning on cigarette lighter which reads: "Do not place on tongue."

7. Anti-lock locks.

6. Side view mirror with reminder: "Objects in mirror are reflections of actual real-life objects, genius."

5. Aero to 5.8 in 60 seconds.

4. Enough trunk space to hold hundreds upon hundreds of wrestling magazines.

3. Secret compartment in center of steering wheel for storing Camels.

2. I don't know what the hell rack and pinion is, but give me all that you got.

1. A glove compartment that don't take a genius to open.